That's it. I'm done. I can't do it any more, I can't watch this Phillies squad any longer, they -- quite simply -- drive me crazy.
For several seasons now, I have tried to remind myself during moments of frustration that "it's a long season" or "that's a damn good lookin' lineup, they'll pull it together". At other times, I've found ways the stats can console me -- "Look at how many win shares Bobby has racked up!"
But last night was the final straw, the one that broke this Phlogger's back. This team isn't very good and quite frankly, I'm amazed they are over .500. Has anyone noticed lately that the Phils have allowed more runs in 2005 than they have scored? Just a few weeks ago, we looked at the Nationals and said, "there's no way they can contend and get outscored for the season all at the same time." Sure enough, the Nats are in a free fall. Ahem, who's next?
If you want an inning that completely encapsulates the last few seasons for the Phils, in last night's game, the team is down 2-1 to the Cubs in the ninth. Ryan Dempster, the Cubs' closer has just walked four straight batters. First comes a questionable decision by Charlie Manuel to use Tomas Perez as a pinch-hitter for Mike Lieberthal in order to get a lefthanded-batter against a right-handed pitcher. Not a horrible decision, but not a great one either when you have Jason Michaels and his .401 OBP on the bench.
Now remember, Dempster has just walked four batters in the inning. Four. Maybe his control isn't what he should be. Sure, he just struck out David Bell, but that isn't anything new and...he just walked four batters! So don't you think Tomas, that maybe, just maybe, you want to take a pitch or two and see what happens before you start flailing away at anything airborne within five feet of the plate.
If I was the umpire or Michael Barrett, the Cubs' catcher, I would have been scared. Seriously. Perez was swinging at everything and anything and if I was them, I would honestly be afraid I might get hit with the bat. Perez looked a lot like a blindfolded six-year old on his birthday, taking cuts at a pinata.
I can't take it anymore.
Besides not being a very good team, they are also a very unlucky team. Case in point: in last night's contest, with Bobby Abreu at third with one out, score tied at zero, Ryan Howard comes to the plate and checks his swing, but the ball hits his bat and rebounds into fair ground towards the third-base side. Abreu can't head for home and Howard is easily thrown out at first. Two outs. David Bell comes up and, well, you just know what's going to happen. And then it does.
Things like that just don't happen to good teams. Watch a couple of Braves games, and you won't see anything like that happen. Sure Chipper Jones strained his rotator cuff last night and will likely miss some more time, but they don't care. They'll just bring up someone from Richmond or Greenville and win 100 games. Ho hum.
Sure there are reasons for optimism, particularly the fact that the pitching staff has been effective lately. But, the offense has gone into the tank. I'm certain that as soon as the offense comes around, the pitching staff won't be able to hit the broadside of the proverbial barn.
I'm done, I can't watch another game. It's too frustrating. It's a situation I can't control. There are better things I can do with my time. Now that I am free of the Phillies, I can play more golf, work on my new house, socialize, watch episode after episode of CSI and Law & Order with The Missus, maybe even have a conversation with her.
I'm going to treat the Phillies the way Terrell Owens treats the media. I'll don some camouflage and over-size headphones, shoot some hoops, and pretend they aren't even there.
I'm finished. Finito. No more, nada.
Sigh.
Until tonight at seven o'clock.
